Singing Before ICE ***by Frank Hickey***
On a steamy Savannah, Georgia night, I'm doing police foot patrol near the river. A bearded heavy man sloshes out of a saloon and collides with another drinker. Alcohol fumes fill the air.
"QUIERES PELEAR?" he slurs in Spanish to the drinker. 'Do you want to fight?' is his question.
He steps towards the drinker. fists rising. Cursing, the drinker flees. Scared, I slide behind the beard, grab his arm and twist one fat wrist into my handcuffs. The second cuff clicks shut and holds his wrists behind him.
He smells too drunk to fight. Thank you, God.
Relief makes me sag. Savannah suffers 60 murders this year, all in my area. The city has a population of 190,000 frightened locals. Savannah at this time had about ten Spanish speakers. Besides me, only one other officer speaks it.
"Sir," I say in Spanish,"you're too drunk to care for yourself. I'm arresting you for Drunk in Public. We'll forget about you trying to fight. What's your name?"
"I'm Puerto Rican," he answers. "Sixto Paraguey."
"Senor Paraguey, do you have any weapons, drugs or needles on you?" I ask.
"Puerto Rican," he repeats. Something about him repeating this bothers me. I frisk him. An idea hits me.
"Please sing the song," I say.
"What song?" he asks.
"'QUE BONITA BANDERA,'" I say, checking his waist for weapons. "It means 'What a pretty flag.' It's the unofficial anthem of Puerto Rico. And you don't know it?"
"No," he says. "I'm not the musical type."
When he smiles, I see something bluish on his lip.
"You got a tattoo in your mouth," I say. "Like a MARIELITO from Cuba. Remember that Al Pacino film 'Scarface'? You're not Puerto Rican. You're a Cuban. Maybe here illegally." He tries leaving. I hold him.
"I just don't know this song, Officer," he says. "But that doesn't mean that I'm a Cuban. I got no rhythm."
I keep searching him.
"I got rhythm," I say. "And I know the song. And I'm a blue-eyed Irish GRINGO. I never even BEEN to Puerto Rico."
While frisking, I keep singing to him.
"QUE BONITA BANDERA,
QUE BONITA BANDERA
QUE BONITA BANDERA
ES LA BANDERA
PUERTORRIQUENA."
***Frank Hickey
Frank Hickey was a cop in Georgia, New York City and Los Angeles. He writes the Dancing Max Royster crime novels about the world's only ballroom dancing detective.
Delightful insight into both the police officer and the novelist. No wonder Frank Hickey's Dancing Max Royster series of novels so rich in humor. He's lived things like he includes in his books.
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